In this first article I will begin to explain the early stages of our loved ones transition..
When someone precious to us passes on we are often most anxious to know where they are and if they are around us still. We want desperately to connect with them, to know they are safe and still ours, to ask any questions that may have been left unanswered and to share our thoughts and feelings. Our loved ones know how we are feeling, they hear our thoughts and feel our love, they are aware of our sorrow and of any guilt or regret we may have. They see everything from a very different perspective. They understand the process of life and learning, of ending the earth cycle and the healing and learning that takes place beyond physical life, once they return to the place we call Heaven they are immediately reminded, refresh and aware of the tremendous, blanketing comfort of eternal love, of what their earth life was designed to experience, of the lessons they learnt and the things they are yet to understand; they are relieved to be reminded of perfection in the process of all things and that they are not harshly judged, they did not fail, even when they experienced lives that were far from perfect.
There is analyzing of their choices and actions on earth but they are the judge and juror for the way the lived, they are aware of what tasks they had set out to achieve, what lessons they had to learn and whether they fell short or not. Some are given healing and counselling when they return to heaven; if a soul has been scarred by the harshness of earth life, if their passing was traumatic or very sudden they may need time to adjust, this is a very gentle, enriching and nurturing healing that the new soul greatly appreciates.
Our loved ones see everything for a very different perspective to the narrowed view we have here on earth. They, unlike us, are blissful and aware. They want nothing more than to convey to us their wholeness, their happiness and their connection to us. They don’t want to see us mourn because, unlike us, they are very aware of the continuing circle of life and know that the separation we are experiencing is temporary; there are added bonuses for them also, they are free of all hangups, pain and stress, they are able to be close to us when we need them or when they need us.
From their perspective its something like being in a room with a two-way mirror where they can see, feel and hear everything but most of us see nothing and even when they may get a hint of something being on the other side of the glass, we are not quite sure.
Many want to know how to connect with spirit and whilst there are some that easily can, ie mediums, most of us cannot. We may sense things, smell things, find things have moved or feathers and coins etc have appeared, we may see lights dim or brighten, realize an electric appliance has turned off or on, we may hear a favorite song or find a magazine cover that holds a message personal to us plus many other seemingly strange or coincidental happenings that stir a feeling within us that they are connections from our loved one/s, and we are right, they are. There are countless ways spirit will use to make a connection if they so chose or if we allow them too.
That is the key though, often they don’t want us to know they are around and sometimes we just don’t allow them to reach us. There are reasons for this, firstly we are here to learn and grow; mourning someone in itself is one of our valuable life lessons. If we become dependent on our loved ones communications we stop progressing and processing through grief. Sometimes spirit will be aware that their connections to us may be distressing to us even when we believe it is what we need to move forward, they realise that communication could actually send us backwards on our path through grief, which is not their desire at all. Spirit knows that the natural healing of their loved ones on earth is underway, they feel no need to reach out. This is often the case where a loved one was old and all concerned had time to prepare for their passing.
Of course there are no hard and fast rules, each circumstance is as different as are the individuals involve. All communication requires two or more participants and if you or I are not receptive, either because we are scared, angry, very upset or do not believe in an existence beyond the physical death, our loved ones in spirit may not be able to make that connection. Quite often they will try but if their attempts to get our attention fail, they will hold back. Those that have lost a loved one that was of a young age, or had a sudden or traumatic passing will be more likely to benefit from a connection with their loved one and the loved one is quite often most keen to make that connection too but this can only happen if we are open to receive it.
It is not always easy for a soul to muster the energy required to make a connection soon after their passing, especially if they will have required healing or counselling themselves. They will need help from guides in spirit to make a connection to us which could be a sense of a chill on our arm or a light dimming, the more time our loved ones are in spirit the more proficient they will become at lowering their vibration to a closer match with ours but as I already mentioned when we are left with feelings of anger, resentment, guilt, deep sorrow, regret or we have no belief in an after life we make ourselves un-receptive.
In our grief all those emotions are natural but for some they are more intense. These emotions have the effect of building a wall around us which is impenetrable for our loved ones.
Our part is to release as much pain, guilt, regret, and anger from our journey through grief; easier said than done, I hear you say, and I do agree, but it takes baby steps to release and accept, we must be patient with ourselves and try firstly to keep talking to our loved ones, they know our thoughts and are sending answers, little by little, we will begin to sense their comfort.
Our loved one doesn’t want to see us going through that trauma, it is not only upsetting for them, they know it is preventing us from moving on and it also hinders their ability to move on.
The best way I can describe this is for a parent leaving their youngster at kindergarten for the first time and seeing their child become distressed. The parent wants to assure their child that the separation is temporary and that they must try to enjoy their time in kindergarten. The parent, who understands the bigger picture is distressed that they can’t convey the process to their child. The child is filled with fear, with feelings of abandonment and distress. With some children, no matter how much the parent explains they are not being abandoned, the child’s tears and tantrum makes them un-receptive. This is how we are when we grieve, even when we don’t shed a tear. Our feelings of pain and anger have the same effect. This is also the effect not believing in an afterlife has. The child may not be having a tantrum but will be ignoring and sulking with their parent instead. The result is the same though.
In part two I will go on further to explain how we can open the channels of communication,